Sunday, July 5, 2009

A True Holiday, or, An Open Letter to Canada

Happy Co-Dependence Day everyone. That day when you wake up and you realize how much you feel stuck in this country...

Dear Canada,

I am not certain what to do anymore. America got drunk last night and started lighting off all of those Chinese explosives again. He knows how much I hate it but I just don't know what to do about it. I mean, I have been with America for so long, and everything was really good for a long time, but something has, well, something has changed and I just don't know what to do.

I mean, America says that he loves me, but then I see America doing these weird things, and I just can't explain them. He said he was going to take care of me. But here I am without health care and my job seems like it might be running out sometime soon, and well.

I really want to come to you Canada. I have been wanting to leave America for some time, but I don't think I can. He has me keeps watching me everywhere I go. I feel trapped. Don't even get me started about the phone and the secret recordings. Oh I found out about it, but America keeps telling me it didn't happen. And that I am just being paranoid.

What am I supposed to do?

Shit I think America is reading this right now...
I have to go.

If America asks you, we didn't have this


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