Monday, November 16, 2015

Introducing "The Map of All Known Palm Trees in Portland, Oregon"....A Passion Project

Everyone has a list of things they dislike, distrust, and has a general disdain for in life. With pathological fervor, we rant about such things and make out contempt publicly known. The internet and the "blog format" has become a safe place for people with such vitriol to openly share their views with a marginal segment of the population.

I have my list of things I disliked and distrusted things. In no particular order, I present the following.

  • Fans of the band Everclear
  • People who ride unicycles
  • Carrots
  • Butterflies
  • Sushi sold in Midwestern States
The list could, and does, go on ad infinitum. But today, I present a more concrete thing that I dislike and have a pathological loathing of...Palm Trees growing in the city of Portland, Oregon.
put: I hate seeing palm trees in the city of Portland.

For a few years now I have said that I plan to map out every known Palm Tree location in this city. Now with the power of Google Maps, I can actually plot out every one of these invasive trees just to show how ridiculous these plants are in our land of cedar and Douglas fir.

Image from

So the question must be asked, "Dude...I mean really, dude. What's your beef with palm trees?" And that is a damned good question. I actually love palm trees. When I would visit California as a kid, I was always wanted to see palm trees. Driving down the wide streets of Sacramento, nearing the capital building, seeing palms brought me simple joy and wonder that only a child could experience. I loved the fibrous trunks, the mighty fronds, and the through there may be coconuts near by. Even as a college student many years ago, I drew a comic titled, "Fun in Getting to Vallejo," which was a short piece about mailing myself to California so I could see palm trees. 

But here in Oregon...Nope.
Nope...Nope...and thousand times Nope to palm trees. 

Is this a rational dislike? No. Is any ranting, rambling, screed ever rational? No. 

Thus I present: The Map of All Known Palm Trees in Portland, Oregon. This will be an ongoing compilation to concretely mark where every palm tree in this city is located. I have one location mapped out at this point. One can simply click on the above link or they can venture over to the corner of NE 16th and East Burnside to experience these palm trees themselves. The map shall be ever evolving and new updates will be made as new observations are made.