Thursday, October 27, 2011

Our Grandparent's Smut...

Another recent ephemera find was an old tabloid pamphlet filled with mail-away smut advertisements.

It humors me to think that in the era before pornography shops, this was how gentlemen got their rocks off. I would love to have a "Marvelous Movie Vuer" just as a relic of that time. If anyone know where to find one, or wants to send one to me as a gift, I would be more than happy to accept it as a gift. You know, for historical research purposes.

Apparently, these mail order novelties would be shipped to men in anonymous brown paper-wrapped parcels, delivered as discretely as possible. I can imagine that any parcel showing up in brown paper soon became noted as pornography to a select few, but maybe we were more naive during this era.

But times changed. Stag-loops for a quarter and adult theaters popped up (pun intended), and with the advent of video cassettes, porn was available in giant, oversized VHS boxes. This of course was replaced by the ubiquitous DVD. And now we get our porn through the internet. 

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

They Saved Hitler's Brain…By Putting it on a Plane

Due to the demise of a certain Libyan leader with an impossible to spell name a few days ago, I thought it would be timely to post this recent ephemera find.

This article clipping was discovered in a giant tome of a medical text in Missoula, Montana a few weeks ago, along with a ton of other fascinating other clippings about menopause, polio vaccines, cancer, and rocket science. The picture it painted of the tome's' previous owner was scattered, at best. 

If anything, we learned that conspiracy theories are improbably old. We all have heard the "They saved Hilter's Brain" well, now we at least can easily speculate how. So much for the Boys from Brazil. 

If certain fringe groups got ahold of information like this old article and took it to heart, it would stir up even more Islamophobia. The absurdist reality of the story is that people honestly believed it, and believed it enough to see it printed, believed it enough to cut it out of a newspaper, and believed it enough to save it for decades stuck inside a book. 

People may wonder why the Unibomber chose to live in Montana, this is a reasonable partial answer to that question...
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Friday, October 7, 2011

The Miracle of America Means More Montana Manequins

The Miracle of America is not only having the opportunity to ride bombs and think about American history. It is a chance to walk through that history with life-life representations of the miraculous individuals that make America and Montana, well, Miraculous.

Take, for instance, Annie, this aptly named mannequin, who has subjected herself to the tortures of electronic hair enhancement for the sake of beauty.

Or this nameless soldier, with a chiseled face, who likes to have things pinned to him such as medals, ribbons, and 3x5 notecards showing his service to his country.

And we can never forget the glamorous flapper mannequins of the 1920s, those who brought us the love of jazz, interracial sex, and bootlegging. It is a little known fact that all mannequins made during the 1920s were actually vessels for contraband alcohol. This the real reason why most mannequins are hollow today. Back in the 20-30s, each mannequin would have a cork at the bottom allowing bootleggers to pour in whatever type of home made concoction they wanted. If you have ever wondered why you don't see mannequins that date before the 1930s, it was because the FBI sent men out to smash most of these whenever they were found, thus ruining one of the best ways to conceal liquor in the era of prohibition.

And of course, no walk-thru museum is complete without a mannequin with an inexplicable shit eating grin. 

Yep, unbeknownst to you, this mannequin has actually been taking up skirt pictures of your daughters while you weren't looking. And that is another Miracle of America--the mannequins are so life-like they do creepy things when you don't know it.
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Monday, October 3, 2011

Ride the Bronze Buffalo: What is the Miracle of America?

What is the Miracle of America?

Good question? One that I have often asked myself since learning my basic American history about how the first Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock, escaping evil tyranny in England. Yes, we all know that the first thing they declared their right not not pay taxes to high ranking wealthy officials named George, declared their right to own all the weapons in the world because they could, and then have Thanksgiving.

But how miraculous is that? Not very if you ask me…

You see, I look for modern day miracles...Like that finding that potato chip that looks like Alf when every other chip is crumbled in the bag. Or when they decide to do remakes of classic television shows like Small Wonder.

But in Polson, MT, you can experience your own tiny bit of the Miracle of America, and its true meaning tied to the history of this country by straddling a bomb and re-inacting scenes from Dr. Strangelove.

Now that is a miracle that even the Pope can't explain.

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