Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Ride the Bronze Buffalo

America is dotted with bronze statues.

When speaking with a friend a few months back, we came about the idea of a great photo essay project simply titled, "Ride the Bronze Buffalo."

The premise of this project is very simple.
  1. Find a bronze statue of an animal. 
  2. Climb upon the statue.
  3. Have a friend take a picture of you riding the bronze wonder.
  4. Fin.
At this point, there is only the one photo of me riding a single bronze Buffalo. However, I am hoping for this to change. There is a giant bronze eagle at the Seven Feathers Casino in Canyonville, OR, which must be tamed...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Oldest Man in America Lives...

In Great Falls, Montana. According to a recent report on the CBS nightly world news the gentleman is 115-years old. Is still bright, able to move around, albeit with a rascal scooter, and has an active social life.

And why in the world would anyone want to live in Great Falls, Montana?

Well besides being home to the C.M. Russell Museum. And his unique brand of Americana portrayed in artwork...


It also features other fine art establishments. Like the bar where I found this Spanish Beauty...

And public displays of sacred Christian artwork such as this lovely storefront mural found downtown...

But the real reason that Great Falls, Montana hosts the oldest living Man in America is that there are Real Live Mermaids in this town!

These pictures were taken at one of my favorite places in the country, the Sip-N-Dip, at the O'Hare Motor Lodge in Great Falls. This tiny tiki bar has so many things going for it that make it beyond amazing, the Mermaid making it that much more platinum than gold, that I just have to say. WOW!

And if you are curious as to the photo quality, when was the last time you tried to take a picture of a mermaid? Hmmmmmm? That's is what I thought. The optics of aquatic photography, dimly lit tiki bars, the vastness of big skies in Montana, and the laconic siren song of Piano Pat (the 70+year-old, weekend musical entertainment at the Sip-n-Dip), will make capturing images of the elusive mermaid difficult.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Comic Book Heroes...

Let the nerdery ensue...

This is from my trip to the Emerald City Comicon:

This is Mr. Mark Waid and me being a geek. He was very nice and he signed my copy of the "Life Story of the Flash." Mr Waid is current EIC of Boom Studios, has written The Legion of Super Heroes, helped with 52, The Flash, and numerous other titles.

This was my favorite moment during the whole trip. Mr. Art Baltazar is Drawing my favorite Marvelcharacter for me, Thanos. Mr. Baltazar is currently nominated with his collaborator Frank for an Eisner fortheir work on Tiny Titans, which is by far the best comic book out on the market today.

A short quick story: While I was standing in line talking about the Legion of Super Pets, seriously, I wasstarted talking to my friend Ema (next photograph) about how amazing Tiny Titans is. Basically once amonth, when Tiny Titans comes out I pick it up from Bridge City Comics, my local Comic Book Shop, andread the issue at my neighborhood bar, The B-Side. I typically giggle like a bunch while reading and myfriends who area bunch of regular non-comic reading barflies look at mereading a book intended for kidsand ask, "What are you laughing at?"Of couse I have to say, "Tiny Titans, Ah YEAH!" But they don't get it.

Back off Fanboys, Ema has a kickass boyfriend who is in a rock-and-roll band. And she will kick your asstoo! Basically she is a saint for letting me be a geek and coming to the con with me. A long term friend andpen pal in Seattle. Ema Rocks! Me I am staring off into space or someplace...
And finally, Dan DiDio.

And me wearing a Wonder Woman tiara...
Mr. DiDio was very pleasant, and actually wasn't supposed to be at the convention, so it was a surprise tosee him. And that helet me have his picture taken with him.

The March of the Prairie Dogs...the journey continues...

When we last left our intrepid town of prairie dogs--yes, a collection of prairie dogs is called a town, they had just realized that one of their members had fallen...

Of course they all think to themselves...

"Well, looks like Brother Eli has fallen to the monkey pox. Should we warn the others."

But now is not the time for thinking...
The long March must go on...
Even if the fallen well, fallen, we must perserver...

"No sir. I don't think we should warn the others. The March must go on. And we got a Coyote and a wild hare runnin' after us. Those aren't good omens."

"But what about Brother Eli's body?"

"Forget about the body, the rabbit and the mad dog of the devil are going to eat us if we don't get to the hole."

"Damn Skippy...TO THE HOLE!!!"

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Un-edited writings from an old blog...

To Continue the saga of the March of the Prairie Dogs. The other members of the prairie dog family have just realized that one of their members has fallen...

Long ago when people used the Myspace entity, before it was unceremoniously abandoned like the inner city for the suburban glory of Facebook and the middle-age housewives that want to reconnect with all of their high school loves, I used to have a frivolous little blog under the Burnt Selena Project moniker.

Every once in a while, I think I shall re-post from that realm. 

This little rambling is about too illnesses. One of the mind...and one that affects the brain.

It isn't often that you read about the same strange psychological ailment in two different publications in the same week. But I guess if you read the books I have been ploughing through, there is bound to be some crossover.

Today I bring to you koro vs kuru, as learned from The Strange Case of the Walking Corpse and Fortean Times.

First the icky. Kuru is disease of the Pacific islands of micronesia, Papua/New Guniea being the larges of this archipelago. This disease of the brain basically turns you head to mush. Well, more literally a sponge. And not the type that soaks of bubbles and you can scrub your tub with. Kuru is similar, and basically the human form of BSE, bovine spongiform encephapathy, more commonly known as Mad Cow Disease. This is actually the native name for the disease acquired from canibalism. Whether this is true or not prions seem to be the cause. Prions being a strange protien that destroys the delicate tissues of our brain. Not a virus, not a bacteria, something else.

Everyone freaks out about Mad Cow Disease, but it has been much more common than we really allow ourselves to believe. Scrapies in sheep was known for decades before BSE came to the hot virus word of the past five  years. Deer have a wasting syndrome that is also quite similar. Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease is another variant that people fear. But this is really rare.

Now for something completely different. Koro!

Picture this happening. You are a doctor and a man shows up at your office with a terrified look on his face. He promptly tells you, "A magician stole my penis." He stands there cupping his hands around his groin and truly believe it magically disappeared. That would be koro.

Koro is a psychological disorder in which people truly believe that their penis has been bewitched, stolen, or shrunk back into the body by evil magic. This originates from myth and magic of west Africa, but panics have moved to the Arab world, where West Africans are often accused of stealing boners from boneheads. The means of enacting this curse or blessing (let's face it we wish some people's sausage would fall off so they couldn't use or misuse it) was all via a handshake. Basically, this is mass hysteria run rampant.

In one such instance, I man went to the hospital with a heavy clamp attached to his penis to prevent it from vanishing. Now that is clever. More clever was a different man that went to the hospital with two friend holding and pulling his pecker so it wouldn't disappear. Imagine that conversation and resulting events, "Guys, my penis is shrivelling up and about to disappear! Quick grab on! Hold tight until we get to the hospital!" Sounds like bad pick-up line, but if this guy got his buddies to do it, and all dudes fear other men's penises (or they envy, sometimes it is hard to differentiate), imagine how it would work at some meat market in old town.

So yeah, Kuru bad in your head. Koro just in your mind. Guys should just stop thinking about their dick so much. Then there wouldn't be a problem. As for Kuru, you're just screwed and you won't be able to think about things.

Bad pun warning******* Koro could simply be called "Re-Dick-Cu-Less"

In other news. I have a new book on germs I am reading. I went rollerskating, two weddings, a bunch of birthdays, and the so forth. I am ready for a nap.

Perhaps it is time for me to read a novel. Oh yes and trivia night is tonight. I plan on winning this time.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

The First Post...March of the Prairie Dog

Hello and welcome to the first posting of the first posting of Wonderful World of Clutter.

This is meant to be a very simple addition to the already crowded world of the internet.

Actually, I think that we should refer to the odd back alleys and the nooks and crannies that everyone tends to search out for the odd oft looked over reference point. Remember that forgotten song lyric? Remember that obscure movie where Andy Kaufman played a Robot? Remember when  Darkhorse Comics was doing comic adaptations of hit movies like "Big" with Tom Hanks?

Anyway...I kind of do...for some unfortunate reason.

And I might as well clog up the internet with this stuff.

But I think I am going to start with the first of a series of pictures I am going to call.

March of the Prairie Dog

This photograph was taken at an outdoor superstore called Cabela's which is apparently some superstore of Walmart proportions. With a world class taxidermy display.

Unfortunately they don't always maintain their stuffed trophies and one poor prairie pup has fallen.

I for some reason found this extremely funny.

Here is the picture.

And so the narrative continues...