Monday, April 24, 2017

Do Mermaids Dream of Electric Eels?

Mermaids are real.

They are at least real in Florida...
And in Great Falls, Montana.

When you think about it, almost anything is real in Florida. They've had Zombies, Super Storms, Hanging Chads. So why can't mermaids be real in Florida.

If you wish to encounter these sirens, all you have to do is go to Weeki Wachee Springs State Park . Yes, it is a state park run but the state of Florida with Mermaids. It does beg the question, are mermaids state employees? State park rangers typically are considered state government employees, so do Mermaids get state benefits?

Living life underwater is hard. One should hope these Menfolk have at least a union. And eating seafood all day, one would hope that those benefits included dental (Have you ever tried to crack open a clam shell using only your teeth?).

In Montana, however, making a living as a mermaid is much more challenging. Not only do they have to survive in a swimming pool sized tank and harsh Montana winters, they have to survive on the dollar bills strangers tape to their enclosure. These mermaids are obviously not state employees. 

Sometimes the Montanan Mermaids try to break through their tanks they can swim to safer, warmer waters in Florida. These mermaids dream of dental plans and dancing with manatees as any self-respecting mermaid should. 

So remember, when you pay your taxes in Florida, you help keep a mermaid from going on aquatic welfare.