Monday, February 2, 2015

Needed Skills for the Modern World

A strange thing happened while I lived in the wilds of Montana over the past few years...I became a You-Tube survivalist. What might a You-Tube survivalist be? Well, essentially, it means that you sit at home with your cat learning survival skills from "experts" who post videos on the internet all from the comfort of your home and without the need to invest in camouflage uniforms or high-powered assault rifles. 

During this period of time, I learned a lot about how to make fire without the use of matches, how to make huts out of tree branches, and how to fish without using a rod or reel. Essential stuff when you live in a city. But in Montana, you never know when...oh let's say a SUPER VOLCANO ERUPTS or some other situation might arise in which all useful skills need to be thrown out the window and you absolutely need to make a fire in a much more difficult manner than flicking a Bic to light paper. 

So when I strolled across this book I figured, "hey I already know how to start fires with my knowledge from the internet so I might as well start being really prepared and learn how to bomb proof my house."

I mean, EVERYONE'S house should be bombproof, except for maybe those pesky terrorist types. We shouldn't let them have bombproof houses. What extra steps can I take to make myself even more prepared? Do I need a more secure basement? Do I need metal siding? Something to keep out radiation perhaps? I bet it all requires concert cinder blocks. All good preparation needs cinder block loving attention.


There are no houses in this book. Horses, yes. Houses, no. 


So my survival skills can't be enhanced with this book. And well neither can my horse saving skills. 

Just look at the picture, if these horses stepped on a land mine, where is the metal plating that would be needed to keep your steed's legs in place? Or what about bombs dropped from above? Surely some aerial protection for the horse can be built. Nope...

Now I am going to have to sit with more You-Tube videos and learn how to completely enclose my nonexistent horse in lead and cinder blocks to keep it protected from evildoers.