Friday, June 12, 2009

The way things were...

I have no idea at what age I created my first autobiography. But let me tell you, it was a hell of a lot less interesting before I was introduced to booze, rocking and rolling, and the excesses of the Portland lifestyle. But I definitely had the ego of a famous person by writing titling my first work, All About Me.

One side note about the book cover. I am afraid of butterflies. I do not know why there is one on my first publication even though I wrote the work and did the artwork. It was there probably because could only draw dinosaurs and editorial mandate (i.e., a teacher) stated that I had to draw something other than a dinosaur for this project. Writers are never satisfied with their work. Never.
This first chapter is about my favorite colors. My color palate has changed over the years. I have found that now my favorite colors are paisley and cordouroy. Well, not really. I am fond of colors much more drab. Silver has become gray. I still like shades of green, but find myself more of an olive person.

However, my routine has changed very little from what happens down bellow. Things like reading, is replaced by hitting wondering how to hide from my boss. Language and spelling have devolved to hour long critiques of my emails from my slightly off-kilter boss as he micro-manages my time and avoids his own work. Ooops...personal editorializing there. Religion is replaced by something like reading the BBC news. But recess and getting out remains practically the same.
Some things in life never change.

And then there is the ever present dinosaur.

Even with the terrible grammar, the attrocious spelling, and poor artwork, I think this is a pretty decent piece of creative nonfiction. I find this to be especially the case when I walk through the biography section of local bookstores and find the detritus lining the shelves. While most of the "autobiographies" are ghost-written.

Celebrity-Wrestler-Boy-Band-Singer-Environmental-Cruisader-Survivor-of-Abuse-Politician's-Heir-Eating-Disorder-Fame-Career-Failure-Redemption writes for YOU!

Sounds like the perfect thing to read at the beach or at the dentist's office right before having a rotten tooth extracted.
Or not.

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