Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Secrets of Blue Holes, Georgia, and Evil Fighting Midgets

Two more random color postcards, this time one from Ohio, the other from Savannah, Georgia.  I had a flight delay in Cincinnati once and spent most of the time at a smoking lounge before all of those went the way of hand tinted postcards.

One is of a Famous Blue Ohio. The previous owner of this postcard visited the "Blue Hole" in Ohio sometime in 1956 as the little inscription at the top of the card clearly states.
And well, that is about all I have to say about that. 

The second card is from a garden in Savannah. And I think there is a concrete gnome in that garden. If you click on the image and look at the enlarged card, you will see it. I swear it is there. That or it could be an evil midget. These garden gnome statues, are actually totems of Savannah's dark history of violence, cage fights, and midget fighting. It is a little known fact that concrete garden gnomes are the tombstones for prized evil midgets that fought for their wealthy owners' entertainment.

Now if there was one thing I did learn about the South when I visited there years ago, was that the wealthy Southerners loved to keep evil midgets locked away in cages for entertainment purposes. And since Savannah was a very wealthy town, there were lots of cages for angry midgets. This was something they rarely talked about on the guided tours of the city, primarily because the focus was on the Forrest Gump park bench.

The founder of the Girl Scouts Juliette Gordon Low lived in Savannah and was well known for keeping three evil midgets. Before starting her band of Scouts to serve as the moral opposition the Boy Scouts, she would host large cocktail parties where moonshine would be served and the evil midgets would fight for the entertainment of Savannah's elite. Pogo was the most favored of her three evil midgets and if you look on the grounds of her home, which has been turned into a museum, there is a bronzed garden gnome hidden from tourist view, a memorial to Pogo's long and legendary life.

In the 1943s during the middle of World War II, the popularity of Midget fighting was getting old. Savannah's elite had much better things to spend their money upon, such as cocaine, crocodile skin boots, and trips to Cuba. The Evil Midget population had been culled to five given that only male Evil Midgets were allowed to be kept and the modern science of cloning was far from practical unless used on small rodents, frogs, or the occasional wombat.  The legendary Pogo had died long before, and most of the Evil Midgets had lost their magical powers during an unnamed tropical storm that occurred in 1938. The Evil Midgets decided that instead of fighting at the next large social gathering, they would flee. And that is what they did once let loose from their cage.

According to legend, three of the five Evil midgets made it to Athens, Georgia. The other two, no one knows. But it was suspected that either an eagle ate them.
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