Sunday, June 28, 2009

Remember these?

Yep, I was a sucker to advertising as with many other children who were raised by the television. My parents ordered the Wildlife Safari cards for me and I loved every frickin one of them. And twenty years later, they still bring me amusement.

Most certainly a great majority of the animals featured are either long extinct or limited to two or three zoo specimens, but they will live forever in a indexed library in my heart...and a clunker of a green box.

If it weren't for Wildlife Safari we would have never known about the Cock of the Rock. This bird is much more popular than closely related species such as the Douche-on-a-Roost, the Dick-in-a-Brick, or the Fuckhead from Beaverton. And this bird doesn't need to pop a collar to be flamboyant and colorful to impress other birds. As the information on the back of the card indicates, it dances. The later of the lesser known species has been known to talk excessively while using the strange call of "Sup-Bro-Hey-Baby," in a repeated pattern which tends to dull the senses of many or cause convulsions depending on intellectual standing.

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