I could have been many things...
Like a race car driver...Just like that man on the salad dressing bottle. He was a race car driver. But then he up and died. Like other race car drivers do. But he did so after making millions and millions of gallons of salad dressing.
When I decided that I wanted to be a race car driver I went to the computer kiosk that they have at the job counseling center. But as I was typing I got a nasty case of the hiccups and I accidentally hit the space bar at the wrong moment while typing out my profession of choice.
Thus, I became a "Race Card River." Fitting given that I am of mixed heritage and live near the confluence of two mighty rivers, the majestic Columbia and the Superfund, Super-friend Willamette.
So today, instead of burning rubber on asphalt, I just make an ass out of my self for my own faults. And I had out race cards for those minorities in need. So, if you are looking for an ethnic trump, come see me!
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