Evil Monkeys can have evil sideburns as is the case with this particularly evil specimen that plagues the hair stylists and barbershops of the West Coast of Asia. Most of the time, this evil simian comes in dressed in some form of human drag posing as an American President from the 1800s way back when beards and sideburns were savy, but as the stylist and/or barber starts to work. The Hamdryas begins to cry a mournful tale about drug abuse and a life trying to gain employment at Walgreens so they have access to better hair care products and menthol cigarettes...And then it attacks, often biting the hand trying to trim the sideburns of demise.
Fingerless hair stylists are a vengeful lot. Don't fuck with them or ask them about their encounter with this lesser known evil monkey. Just be aware, that their dislike of barbers and hair stylists is is only worsened by the scent of Barbisol and the sound of buzzers. Just be warned.
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