Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Great Oregonians...

{{en|U.S. Senator Robert William Packwood sour...Image via Wikipedia

These days it seems like everyone knows where Oregon is located. But not too long ago, no one knew where it was. Washington State knew of us, and Californians were always trying to move up here. But no one from Ohio, New York, Florida, or even let's see, New Zealand new where this state was. But now, Oregon is kind of a buzz word.

So imagine how it felt to be an Oregonian to have our very own Senator put us on the map! You see, previously on the map of the US, where Oregon was located, there was a bunch of trees. And in fact the nation was introduced to a whole new term in for which we have to sit through painfully awkward and boring seminars.

Yes, Bob Packwood brought "Sexual Harrassment" to the great state of Oregon.  In fact, he pre-dated Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill. In fact, if someone said "Harassment" most men would respond, "Eh, her ass meant nothing, I'm a tits guy..." Okay so maybe not.

So back to the state of Oregon. We suddenly had a marvelous term associated with our state that didn't involve descriptors of forests, wood, owls, loggers, or flannel. All of those things nixed and replaced for three simple words: "Deep passionate kissing..."

Now on that map, where once stood a lonely stand of trees, a mysterious pair of menacing hands appeared, lustily grasping for warm flesh.

And to that we thank you Sen. Packwood. We thank you.

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