Thursday, May 20, 2010

Little Sally, This is What Happens When You're Pregnant

Hi Little Sally. Little Billy just learned all about sex, but what does that mean for you?
Well, let's just say that your body is changing. And with those changes, you will no longer be a little girl any more; you will be a woman. Being a woman means many things. To some it means becoming a doctor or a lawyer, to others it means becoming a cocktail waitress or a secretary. But to boys like Billy who have just learned about sex, being a woman makes you an object. Yes, an object. Sometimes you will be an object of affection, while other times you will be an object of attraction. Sometimes those objects are referred to as Vixens, Babes, Sexy Things, and One Night Stands.

Now Sally, I bet you want to know how you become pregnant. Well that happens by accident. But before the accident can occur. A man needs to have an erection. Erections occur when a man who has learned about sex excited. Scientists like to call this event, "Having a boner." It is kind of like the picture of growth cartilage, but only a little bit different.

Men eventually lose their erection after spending time with a woman for two minutes. The man then falls asleep and then the woman must wonder if an accident has occurred. And why does she need to worry about accidents? Because accidents cause pregnancy.

Once your accident begins, your body gets a little angry at you, and it begins to change. Now Sally, I bet you are scratching your head just like little Billy did, but don't worry it will all make sense. You see, you body is angry because it now has to host a little parasite that will slowly drain away all of your nutrients, your soul, and your finances away. We like to call these babies. But don't be afraid, everyone loves babies.

And when you are pregnant, you turn fat because you have a thing crawling inside you like in those science fiction movies that your mother won't let you watch. And everyone will find you unattractive. But it is all okay. This last for just nine months.

After nine months, you can sell your baby to missionaries from Idaho. They will in turn make your baby work along side other stolen or sold babies in the peat bogs of Canada. And that is how the new economy will work. 

Now do see how accidents can be a good thing?
Posted by Picasa

No comments:

Post a Comment