Tuesday, May 25, 2010

And Now We Present: Why You Can Make Babies...

So Sally and Billy, what have we learned? After a week-and-a-half of learning all about sex and that accidents are the causes of babies, now it is time to learn why you, yes you specifically, can't make babies.  Sure all of the mechanics of making babies is pretty easy, and it can be quite fun, but then problems might happen.

Simply put, when a man and a woman come together to try to make a baby, the accidents that need to happen happen, and then those accidents aren't accidents aren't accidents at all. Confusing? I thought so. It all seems so easy, and at times it can be very easy, easy enough that people in Gresham can do it and do it repeatedly. But sometimes, making babies doesn't work.

Sometimes the reason why a man and a woman can't have a baby and have to hire a woman from Idaho to smuggle them from Haiti is because the woman is sterile. But what does sterile mean? It means a variety of things as graphically illustrated in the pictures above. Do you know if you are sterile, Sally?

Other times, a man is to blame. Often, men are to blame, but this time men are to blame for a variety of reasons. If a man is impotent, it means his stallion has been sent to the pasture or that his horse broke a leg and had to be shot. This is very unfortunate for the man. Sometimes a man turns to unique fetishes to try and revive the spark that magically stimulates the nerves from his spinal cord to his penis to cause and  erection, but often this is gone. And with this gone, no babies will be made. Think about it, Billy. Are you an impotent man?

You see, Sally and Billy, if making babies were easy for intelligent people then GOD would have made babies so they could be assembled with airplane glue, jumper cables, and instructions provided in PDF format. However, GOD only made making babies easy for people who shouldn't create babies. Why, because GOD has a cruel, cruel sense of humor...A sense of humor that your feeble minds will never understand.
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