Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Open Letter: Dear Mr. Kissinger

Dear Mr. Kissinger

I want to thank you for taking the time to read this open internet letter. I do hope you find yourself well this July day. While many individuals probably contact you to discuss music and world affairs, I wanted to write to you about music. And pitch something to you that I think is both a work of pure genius and soul. And you, Mr. Kissinger are the only person that can assist with this project.

Certain albums are always going to be memorable. Just like classic works of art, they remain implanted in one's brain leaving an indelible mark for a lifetime. Andy Warhol made his impact with Soup Cans, but he also produced one of the great rock bands of the 60s, The Velvet Underground. With Nico singing on the first album, her baritone voice projecting over the drone of psychedelia, a new era of sonic attitude and altitude was achieved.

But that of course is history, just like the Ford administration. Mr. Kissinger, I bring up this band because Nico is no longer with us, she met an untimely fate a few decades back, thus The Velvet Underground will never have a singer with a truly lusty European baritone voice ever again.

That is where you come in.

With modern karaoke technology, we can revitalize the glory that was The Velvet Underground...but instead of Nico, it will be Kissinger. And it will be AWESOME!!! I am certain we can convince Lou Reed that this is abstract political performance art or something...he can cash in on it too.

You will sing "All Tomorrow's Parties," "I'll Be Your Mirror," and "Femme Fatale." Just three songs! That is all you have to do.

So please Mr. Kissinger, consider this modest proposal. I am certain we can enlighten a whole generation of music lovers.

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