Authorship

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Kind of Like Thor But Different...

Perhaps this is my first not safe for work post. Don't worry there are no lewd pictures but the verbal content might as well be considered questionable. So please refrain from reading this out loud in a work environment. Unless you might work in an open setting that allows for the awkward forms of discussions that follow conversations about awkward sexual topics.

Sitting at my local bar, I have the opportunity to overhear a great number of conversations. Most of these are quite boring and almost all are of no consequence to the greater happenings of life. But sometimes we encounter odd things.

For example, there was the extremely strange mouth-breathing-comic-book-fan who went on a ten minute long uninterrupted discussion about the comic book character Apocalypse, and how the issue he help was the one of only two in which he appears in space with a face mask, but without his normal face mask. He then turned to point out his jacket, which he referred to as "Kind of like Thor, but different, and more awesome." Definitely inconsequential.

But then there are the opportunities to over hear the more intimate moments of peoples lives. For example, one girl trying to explain to another that her physiology should allow her to insert her dildo further into her vagina than she currently does. The explanation was quite intricate, and possibly biologically sound; the uterus when not holding a fetus does not behave like a balloon even though that is always how it is shown in pictures. Instead, as one girl quietly tried to explain to her partner, it is kind of like a flat pouch. That, and probably when she uses her toy she is sitting down, adding an extra bend to the internal genital region that would further obstruct placement. The two then traded stories of how one should trade positions, relax, practice yoga, perhaps not knowing that when talking in a noisy bar, quiet conversations are always much louder than they are intended to be.

In consequential conversations overheard at the bar...much as the weird comic book guy stated, are kind of like Thor, but different, and more awesome.

3 comments:

  1. Happy New Year from Oakland-
    stumbled back upon this site and remember how wonderful and quintessentially Patrick it is.
    Hope Portland is not too soggy,
    Jena the midwife

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  2. Patrick- this site is so quitessentially you, and wonderful. Hope Portland is not too soggy these days.
    Happy New Year from Oakland,
    Jena the midwife

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lovely to hear from you! Drop me a line sometime...

    ReplyDelete