Saturday, August 13, 2011

Fight Night!

The things I love in this world are quite simple. I love taxidermy. I love squirrels. I love tiny displays and dioramas. I love cheese as well. And I love it when all of these things are combined, well, except for the cheese part. Imagine my joy when I came across this display in the Free Museum in Virginia City, Montana, where not one, but two mounted squirrels were displayed in a tiny diorama depicting them as little anthropomorphic boxers!

Yes, a true battle of the species--Red Squirrel versus Grey Squirrel. 

It reminds me of this plan that I had years ago...I wanted to have an army of stuffed squirrels. I would have at least one hundred and four stuffed squirrels dressed up in various military uniforms all armed with little squirrel sized riffles, shotguns, laser cannons, and the sort.  And these stuffed squirrels would be placed at strategic places within whatever house I ended up owning, in case an intruder ever broke in. The way I saw it, at least at the time, this would the ultimate home protection system. And it would be much better than having you normal alarm system, because any burglar who broke into the house and saw a brigade of pissed off heavily armed squirrels would panic and immediately flee. 

I often brought up my army of squirrel idea to my friends; they would shift the subject to something more timely often asking whether I had eaten that day, if I was getting enough sun, had taken any medication, slept properly, or if I had recently left my apartment during the daytime. I found out that bringing up the squirrel army on dates, was never a good option as well. At first it would prompt laughs, but the inevitable, "You're serious, aren't you?" question would come up and the inevitable awkward silence and the fumbled goodbye that promptly followed. If only they knew. 

But here, as an artifact to Montana's history, we see that Fighting Squirrels serve a purpose. And has this museum ever been robbed? I didn't ask, but my theory may hold up...

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