Saturday, December 26, 2009

Post-Christmas Stuffing

With only a few days left in the year, I feel it's important to remember the birds.

The wise owl lets us remember that 2009 is a year that will not be repeated...until the Great Crunch occurs. At that point in the distant future, when the universe stops expanding and the accelerating forces of the Big Bang no longer push dark and light matter into the ether, the forces of gravity will hold and all matter of the universe will be pulled back to its point of origin. Thus time will play backward in some strange parody of the way we think of things.

The wise owl has many sage things to say to us. Like, "Spread your wings for 2010," and "How the hell did I ended up as a decorative mount in a resort lodge in the Columbia Gorge?" The wise owl should make us all remember, that we are never far from being piddly tourist attractions once our endings come.

The wild turkey on the other hand wants revenge. The wild turkey knows what you ate for your xmas dinner, and thinks to himself, "My head is bare and free of feathers so I can easily pick at your carcass when the great wrath comes." 

The wild turkey might not be wise like other birds. And it really can't fly very well. But that ugly head will eat your eyes out. And it will do so with only the type of pleasure that a wild turkey can. 

So to 2009, we give you the bird. If fact we give you the bird four times over. Let this year die away like other ones. 

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