Mint's in Montana

So it has been nearly a year since I have moved to Montana, and I have made a few observations since coming to this state. One thing I have noticed is that if there is a hillside in a respective town, the town's folk will instinctively place a letter of their respective high school or college upon that hillside. Sometimes there will be multiple letters. Bozeman, for example has a giant "M" as does Missoula, which also has another letter for their Catholic school.

Another interesting trend number of bar/restaurants named "The Mint." It seems like you can't really call yourself a real town unless  you have a bar named The Mint*.

The picture above is of The Mint in Livingston, a classic sign, bellow is the Mint in White Hall, a little less classic, but still awesome. 

If anyone is familiar with the story of Ray's Pizza, or Famous Ray's, or Ray's Famous Pizza, or any of the infinite permutations of this name found in New York City, I can only imagine that this is Montana's version of the same thing. There was probably one original "The Mint" bar located somewhere in Montana. And it was probably the coolest saloon in all of history in this state. But it is now gone, replaced by video keno machines, Bud Light, and dreams of Ron Paul presidency. Who knows.

*Bozeman is not a real town because it doesn't have a Mint. HA!!!

Poetry Corner...

I wish I remembered which of the numerous county museums this particular work came from. I won't let the inner literary critic crawl out and try to deconstruct "Ode to Our Pioneers," by Marion Bucy.

To get a fuller understanding of this piece, and the pieces of imagery selected to accompany each stanza, I highly suggest clicking on the image to enlarge the piece. Then you will be able to read it for all of it's rhyming glory.

I will excerpt this stanza this stanza, however, for those who are prone to not take the time to read:

     From the bosom of the mountain side,
     They suckled much of the golden tide;
     A few strikes, beyond compare,
     Other's couldn't add salt to their mountain fair. 

Today in Awkward Taxidermy...

Sometimes it's just hard to make the eyes look lifelike...

Nothing to report about this picture…

And this sheep/goat beast things seems to be the inspiration for the sensory deprivation scenes from the film Altered States...

The White Buffalo...

Today, while wasting time wasting time looking at i09.com, I was reminded of this amazing piece of taxidermy found at that the Montana Historical Society in Helena.

So a quick few things about White Buffalo, I don't recall all of the history of this particular animal, nor do I recall all of the folklore behind white buffalo in Native American culture, but pop culture has their birth to be a sign of either omen or change. X-files taught me that. 

However, one must note that this isn't an "albino buffalo." Or at least not from the taxidermy mount displayed. Instead it is most likely a melanistic representation of the animal. The difference between albinism and melansim has to do with genetics mutations and phenotype expressions. Basically, that every once in a while you may see a squirrel with a darker color fur or a black bear that really looks brown or an Japanese man such as myself that looks like he could be from Mexico, Iran, India, The Rez, or any place other than Japan. Simply put, sometimes animals will appear white but not be true albinos. The truth is in the pink of their eyes…True albinism will lead to the classic pink-hued irises we see in lab rats, bunnies, and those really strange looking gold (well not really gold) fish. 

And yes, some geneticist or other biologist will probably come along and correct all of the above writings…But it doesn't really matter. Because, you know what? The real meat of this post is about one thing.

GIANT EFFING BUFFALO KILLING PEOPLE!!!

So yeah…

Is this bronze skull from one of these mega beasts? I am convinced that things are actually bigger in Montana than they are in North Dakota, so logic therefore leads to one conclusion.

Yes.

Sometimes It's Just Too Easy...

Have I ever mentioned that squirrels are my favorite animal?

Well, if I haven't. I have now.

And for those who are wondering, I think the town of Anaconda, Montana is AWESOME! Fake palm trees, a casino on practically every corner, a real pizza joint. Think of it like Reno…but different.

And if you enter from the east side of town, you are greeted with this sign.

CLASSIC!

Today in Sad Images…

I came across this unfortunate pillow at an antique mall in Missoula. I am not entirely certain what to make of it, so I will let the pictures speak for themselves.

I Should be Finishing a Paper Right Now...

Instead I present you…

FISH...

And now, back to procrastination at it's finest/worst/most expected…

Today's Idle Thought...

Today's idle thought is simple and presented as thus: We need a Matador Painting Revival…like Right Now!

While it seems to be a self mocking tradition to paint birds on things in the Pacific Northwest (and observation made long before a recent television show made a meme of it), and to also make crappy artwork on skateboard decks, I truly believe it's time to bring back this once favored artistic tradition.

Back in the glory days of my freshman year of college, my buddy had a giant matador painting. The band we were in even wrote a song about it. I can't remember what it was about, but I remember the title of the song actually had more words than the actual song itself and that it included some vague references to Dan Rather and botulism. I also have no idea what happened to that painting. 

So this is a call to all the artists out there. Make something with a Matador on it. If you send me a picture I will post it on the Wonderful World of Clutter.

Today in Awkward Mannequin Poses…or…I found D.B. Cooper

Hey! Look everyone! I found D.B. Cooper…

I am pretty much convinced that this country's most notorious/mysterious thief-a-la-sky-diver didn't land in the woods of Oregon as everyone suspected, but was found in a condition as this poor mannequin propped up on somebodies wall somewhere in a collection of stuff.

There is pseudo-scientific evidence for this: Mr. Cooper jumped out of a plane at an extremely high altitude without a properly pressurized suit that most sky-divers use today. My assumption is that his body freeze-dried on its descent. And while he did jump out over the Oregon/Washington area, given that there was a storm that night, it is probably that the air currents kept him aloft long enough to continue this freeze-drying process. The air currents at such high altitude would have also been able to blow D.B. Cooper over to the Montana region, where he is hanging on display today.

If anyone has seen the documentary film, "UP" then they should understand how air currents can blow things as simple as houses held up by balloons extremely far off course. The parachute essentially acted as a giant kite.

No knowing the provenance of this fugitive, the people who found this freeze dried man in a parachute rightfully decided to change his clothes to something more patriotic and to place him on display in a WWII tableau.

And thus, one of our greatest mysteries is solved.

Holiday Tradition: EFNYP

While most families go out to church for Christmas or venture out to see relatives as part of tradition, my family and I have a long standing sacred tradition unique to Christmas eve.

Around nine o'clock, we drive to NW 23rd Avenue and front end park in front of Escape From New York Pizza and just sit in the car. The pizza joint is closed of course. The point isn't even to get a pie or slice. The point of this holiday tradition is to enjoy the gift of easily accessible parking on one of the most parking-challenged areas in Portland during a time when parking is worth more than the life of the baby Jesus himself.

So remember your traditions on these winter nights.

Merry Excessmas