Beyond the Alligator Man

Many years ago, I posted briefly about Jake the Alligator Man, smascot of Marsh's Free Museum in Long Beach, Washington. But beyond that glued together taxidermist dream, there are so many other wonderful things at this tourist trap/junk shop.

There are of course the standard two-headed calves and twin-bodied sheep.

But where else in on the Pacific Coast can you find a mounted Werewolf? 

Or a giant Owl?

Or a Swamp Ape? 

When given enough time, one will realize that anything can be made with the ass end of a deer, old dentures, and googly eyes. 

As a kid, this place inspired my interest in taxidermy. Ethics of hunting for trophies aside, I firmly believe we should respect this as an art. A wall mounted animal head may not be as powerful as a diorama at a museum, but there is craftsmanship involved. 

At one point in time, I considered going to taxidermy school. I researched a program located in Montana that had a dorm and a meal program. I had been out of work for close to six months at the time and was trying to reinvent my career. The dream was to learn how to do majestic mounts of animals in various poses, show my skills to local museums, and then become a curator of sorts. 

I envisioned the program to be something like Space Camp, but with more flannel, beards, and dead animals. Dorm life would have been great! I would share a bunk with a hunter with an ironic name like "Buck" or "Tracker" or some of variation of a Palin family first name. And of course, there was the meal plan.  Every morning we would eat pancakes and then work on skinning a moose or elk or something and then we would put that animal back together so it looked like it was alive. 

Once I figured out how perfect of a scenario this would be, I explained this master plan to my mother as we ate dinner. She told me that I needed to find a job. My rebuttal was that this was my next path to employment. More importantly,  I explained that taxidermy school had both a meal program and the dorm.  At that point she changed her position and simply stated, "You need a girlfriend." 

Needless to say, I never did join taxidermy school. 

And when I think about it, I wonder how good the meal plan really was.

Warning Signs

The previous post sparked a memory of a sign I spotted at the Willamette Falls viewing area in Oregon City. 

Sometimes workers throw stuff back.

Field Trip: The Museum of Glass

I have been a Dale Chihuly fan for years, so venturing to the Glass Museum as part of my August museum field trip month was a great deal of fun.

This Brady Bunch of glass vases and flowers actually stretches across a bridge that spans part of I-5. When sunny, which tis day was not, all the glass shines. But even here you can see how whimsical shapes and colors.

The interior of the museum is divided into one main gallery, a large gallery for rotating exhibits, and a huge theater for viewing their active studio. During the course of the year, working artist come to the museum of glass and use their facilities to blow new projects in their fancy kilns. Rarely do you get the opportunity to witness a working studio and one in which world class artists are assembling pieces.

It is hard to think of glass as being a large scale medium. We so often take it for granted, never thinking that when viscous, glass can be shaped into almost any form.

One of my all time favorite creations by Chihuly has been his "Sea Forms," in which he takes glass and spins and blows it into undulating shapes that look like they are moving with tidal actions. All resemble something off of a tropical reef. This particular installation of "Sea Forms" is about 20 yards long and suspended above your head. While viewing the work, neck craned upwards, people stroll bumping into each other not paying attention to where they walk. Then when they do point their heads and eyes forward, they inevitably stumble from the the blood rush and dizziness.

Somebody had a more interesting childhood than mine...

The Kidd's Toy Museum holds a ton of interesting childhood artifacts. Some of which I recognized and others that seemed to elude me. 


The naked woman in the circus cage was a play-set was definitely something I was not privy to as a young boy. 

What makes this particular display even more enjoyable are the little children watching this spectacle. 

There are more jokes in here somewhere. 

Field Trip: Kidd's Toy Museum

Reflecting on the past is always a interesting game we play. And while I typically blog about silliness, comic book heroes, and useless pieces of information, I don't want to slip an air of comedy when presenting the next few images of the historic lead banks.

Mechanical lead banks and iron banks were a major craze throughout America from the late 1800s to the early part of the twentieth century. And with many trends, they reflected the sympathies and attitudes of the eras. That isn't to say that all of this country was racist before the Civil Rights Movement, but stereotypical presentations of minorities were much more typical and much less frowned upon.

While we might look at these objects in disgust of a ignorant, bigoted, and less-enlightened era. These "toys" were marvelous little contraptions, sometimes with intricate mechanics. Mouths would open to hold deposited coins and arms would swing. In some of the other banks not shown in this photo series, cannons would fire at targets, opening levers to drop coins in slots; others featured mean chopping wood, women dancing, and a myriad of other motions.

In honesty, to call these novelties "toys" is really misleading. While we think of banks as something for children, these were promotional items, advertising gimmicks, and pieces of political propaganda. A rubber Nixon mask would be the most modern-day counter part to these objects--something comical and playful but not intended for children.

The question whether we have progressed beyond these objects that make us jeer today however still lingers. If you think of people from more contemporary American advertising and the images below, the parallels might bother. Aunt Jemimah and Uncle Ben have somewhat disappeared from popular culture, but the similarities between those caricatures and these banks is too similar to be ignored. they might not be part of advertising any more, but as part of slang, the two names are now part of a growing collection of derogatory terms thrown about when people feel appropriate.

So what's the point? Is the point to rub our collective noses in the past? In a sense, yes. This history is important to know. And if we ignore it and turn our backs to it, who knows how even more ignorant we will become.

Field Trip: Toy Museum

Tucked away in a very unassuming windowless building in the semi-industrial area of Southeast Portland is perhaps one of the more fascinating museums in this city. This famed toy museum has been spoken about for many years but very few individuals have taken the time to visit the location. Sometimes they just have trouble finding it.

But if they do manage to find this location, they are going to be amazed by a world class collection of toys from the late 1800s to the 1950s. Over the next few days, as I complete a tour of museums, I will post some more pictures of the Kidd's Toy Museum's collection to provide a broader scope of what they hold.

From my understanding, the owner of the collection was a property owner in the neighborhood and a avid fan of tin toys and old lead banks. By far, their collection of animated banks has to be one of the largest in the country. Along with these there are other odd artifacts from the railroad history of the Northwest, naval history of Oregon, toy trains, doll houses, locks, dolls, toy soldiers, and other assorted memorabilia of childhood before plastic.

Of the more unusual objects in the collection were these two wind-up toy bears. At least the box says they are bears. I am not convinced though. These mechanical toy beasts really look more like a cross between between a rat, yeti, and Weird Uncle Martin who refuses to shave but and listens to religious radio all day.

The directions are particularly ominous. Remember the instructions for the taking care of a pet mogwai in Gremlins? It is kind of like that, except even more dangerous, because we don't have a movie to tell us what these mechanical beast will turn into if their legs are touched or something is put in their mouth. God forbid if you give it food after midnight...

Just look at those teeth and think of how many porcelain dolls it could eat in one sitting...

With our next photo set, we will look at the racist banking institution through the lens of toys. Educational and playful. Should be fun!

Field Trip: Gresham's International District

To end the Gresham-o-rama experience, I give you a highlight of Gresham dining--Heidi's. This is something I like to think of as fine dinering.

One thing that indicates being in a classic diner, and that you are too young to be a patron, is the inclusion of liver and onions on the menu. My estimate of the mean age of the clientele is at about 65 and dying.

Heidi's has a Swiss theme. Though most of the gift store items have to do with Dutch products and German goods. Oh, and the fresh crab isn't too fresh...of course crab isn't really a traditional Swiss dish. So don't order the crab benedict.

If that isn't confusing enough, there is a giant pagoda across the street from this little slice of Europe in Gresham. Which makes me feel like this part of town might just be ripe for some type of political turmoil sooner than later.

I honestly think I have written all I can about this place. Now I need a new field trip. Next weekend promises high art...at the Mary Hill Museum.

Field Trip: Oh No You Didn't

The Gresham Field Trip, hence known as Gresham-o-rama, has become an enlightening cultural experience. I have come to the conclusion, that this unique blip on the Oregon map is beyond confusing and slightly scary. But not because choice of ominous use of vicious animal mascots.

For example, the Gresham High School mascot, the Gopher.

We all know that I have a deep love of rodents, but this one posed like some pissed off valley girl is not really threatening me in any way. A cougar, a ram, an ox, hell even a orca might be a more terrifying mascot. They at least trample things or eat meat. But a gopher doesn't. A gopher pisses of farmers. Which given that Gresham was once a farming town makes sense, but that cultural significance is lost.

If a team is going for the cute and cuddly angle, they should go all the way. Like this lovely hamster below. All cuddles and cuteness. No threats of digging up the lawn or ruing the vegetable patch. And no silly pose. Just a look of wonder and bewilderment at how cute and cuddly, so mother-beloved-effin' cuddly it is...

Field Trip: The Scariest House in Portland...

There are plenty of terrifying houses in Portland, most of them involve the production of meth, but this one is scary in a whole different way.

Perhaps it is the lack of lawn...And the predominance of red rock and concrete?

Perhaps it is the "In Memory of our Troops and the piles of white stones that look like two strange grave sites...

Perhaps it is the scary bunny, hanging from a swing, decorated in tinsel, with a certain Rambo grin and gun strapped to its fuzzy body...And the warning signs that every inch of this house is being monitored, recorded video taped, and documented.

Perhaps it is the number of crosses, more than Calvary, more than Golgatha, hell, perhaps more than the end of The Life of Brian...

I could tell you where the Scariest House in Portland is located...But if I posted the address or even the cross streets, the owner might hunt me down and kill me.

Field Trip: Gresham HIstory Museum

What Can I say about the Gresham History Museum? I think that both Khris, my museum buddy and I had a great time at the museum and in Gresham learning of the history and the unique culture of the people of this town. And by the people, I mean those who currently inhabit it the city of Gresham.

Well to begin with, the museum is housed in an old Carnegie Library, one unlike any that I have seen before--a brick structure with unique leaded glass work. Compared to most of the Carnegie Libraries I have seen in Oregon and on the West Coast, this one seems more fitting of the East Coast, mainly because brick structures are so rarely seen. They were taking down the exhibit on the former mayor of Gresham, so things were in transition when we got there. An older gentleman of about 85+ years greeted us and guided us with stories of his youth as we looked at exhibits.

Things of note that I picked up from his stories: if you are riding a horse bareback and it tries to buck you, keep hitting it with your hat as you hold onto its mane; The dairy farmers always new which milk pails were their own; "well...he shot all the elk and deer and told the warden that they could get the meat or it would just rot there, but it ain't no reason to have the guy arrested." And while some of his stories didn't make much sense, nor did they really give us a sense of the history of Gresham, he did show me how a seeder worked, and he did show me where the Multnomah County Fair Grounds used reside.

The images in this set, which unfortunately are a little hard to see are all of the fair grounds which have since been paved over. As far as we can tell, there is a shopping center where these exhibit halls and where a grand set of archways used to stand.

The yoke is an original artifact from one of the settlers. The owl, which interested me more than the yoke was in the old general store. This museum had an unsurprising lack of taxidermy, but seeing the mounted owl, I was left satisfied.

This plaster relief is an original WPA commissioned project that was lost for decades but was found in the attic of the Gresham High School. In my mind, this is probably one of the more impressive artifacts at the museum, aside from the old man who regaled us with stories. It has been restored to preserve it for the future. Some of the artwork to come out of the WPA was quite good, it is nice to see that someone had the sense to move it to the museum instead of city hall. Oh, and city hall for Gresham is apparently in a mini-mall.

And this is an actual wagon wheel. I believe the sign says it as well. So if you had your doubts, be assured that if you go to Gresham, and you don't think that this is a wagon wheel, they will prove you wrong.

So what did I learn? For a one-room museum in a small library, The Gresham History Museum is quaint and nice. There was nothing too kitschy or unbelievable, but there was a collection of scary dolls that was not quite explained. Also to prove it was Gresham, there was a beat-up metal-framed futon and mattress in front of one of the main displays. Apparently it is for sale, the futon, not the display.