Who Mammothed Better?

When was the last time you rated your Mammoth? Why, you might ask? Well, I have encountered two museum quality models of mammoths in my adventures, and I have to ask myself, "Who Mammothed Better?"

Unfortunately there isn't a Mammoth Westminster Kennel Club judging the worthiness of the world's mammoth specimen, so i figure I should turn it over to the most impartial of voting groups out there, the internet. So I present the question, is this Mammoth Hot or Not?

Does the model mammoth of the Paige Museum at the La Brea Tarpits strike you as hot or not?

Or does the mammoth of the Royal British Columbia Museum rate hotter or notter?

I have my choice for which one is the sexier beast. And that would be the Canadian one. But what about you dear readers? LA Mammoth just seems too Californian. Maybe it's the hipster, mop-top, skull cap that this creature has going. It's just too groomed for me. The BC Mammoth has a certain rugged northwestern vibe about it. 

The choices we have to make...

Of course we all know that of all wooly mammoths out there, there is only one with enough face and fame to get all our hearts a flutter and that is Mr. Snuffleupagus. Let's be honest, his mammoth eyelashes can stop hearts. But if you throw Snuffy aside, who would it be? Who Mammothed Better?

From the Mr. Snuffleupagus Wiki Entry

Morels…Finally!

After a year's absence they are finally back. Today I found two more. Hopefully, I can gather a more during these next few weeks east of the Rockies.

Ending up in Yellowstone

Last weekend, an desperate need to get out of my apartment led me to a drive to Yellowstone. Go fig.

I ended up there late in the afternoon. My intent was to just visit the town of Livingston, perhaps one of my top three favorite towns in Montana, but I just ended up continuing to drive south. 

If anything, going to the park to see the above sign, made the trip worth while. There is something just charming about watching  child traipsing through a geothermal vent and getting surprised as he is blasted and scalded that just never seems to fail a persons sense of humor.

Of course, everything was covered in snow. I am certain that the formations would have looked more vibrant in the spring or summer, but still, it is pretty interesting walking through what is essentially a giant volcano of sorts.

And the whole place smells kind of like Camas or Oregon City before the pulp mill shut down. Made me a little home sick. It also made think of Captain Kirk when he fought that lizard creature in that one episode of Star Trek…You know the one where he realizes he can't out-punch the lizard warrior so he sees what resources are available on the planet, finds sulfur, and ultimately makes his own gun powder. 

Yeah, I kind of felt like Captain Kirk in Yellowstone. And I wanted to make gun powder. 

And that is what I learned about geology during my trip to the National Park. 

That and that this is soon to come true…because it is a documentary…and it had to do with Yellowstone. SO THERE!

The Fauna of Montauna

There are lots of different animals in the state of Montana. We have elk, and bears, and bison. We have bobcats, cougars, and frat boys. And there are also people from Billings. But nothing seems to compare to the majestic fauna that can be observed just by walking within the city limits of Bozeman. Sure you'll see deer. Or perhaps you'll see a tourist from North Dakota, but some sights of nature from the wild kingdom are things of beauty. The following video montage is just small sampling of animal life I have encountered in my time in town. For example, a deer bounded in front of me while I hiked about three miles away from campus. Pretty cool. That isn't on this film. But other things are. So enjoy.

Foraging Fun

It's morel season in parts of Montana. Unfortunately, not any of the parts that I have been scouring the past weekend.

However, before my trek to Bozeman, I did have a successful hunt with my friends.

Having encountered the slightly toxic False Morels in my initial search, and little else, I was about to give up. But fortunately, we stumbled upon one in a small patch of scrabble and pebbles away from where we had previously trained our eyes. The thing with hunting mushrooms, once you spot one, you typically can't stop seeing them. 

In the end, we ended up with just under a half-pound of nice sized morels. Not too bad for searching over four different spots, and figuring we were about to get skunked. 

So here is my little recipe for a quick and tasty morel treat.

• Half an apple
• 2 cloves garlic
• Butter
• 1/2 pound morels, cleaned and split in half length wise
• Freshly cracked black pepper
• Salt

Chop the apple into a small dice and mince the garlic. Saute both in butter until the apples begin to brown. I would only use a small amount of butter maybe small pat. And the morels and let cook. Very quickly, the moisture from the mushrooms will begin to cook out and the morels will begin to soften. Once the liquid begins to bubble, drain it off the liquid and save it for later (you might want to use a strainer or something to keep the morel/apple mixture separate). Return the mushrooms to the pan on high heat add a bit more butter and re-saute the mushrooms until they brown up a bit.  Add freshly ground black pepper and salt to taste. Serve as a side.

Mushrooms contain a ton of water. If you try to cook them in oil right away, they just get soggy from essentially stewing in their juices and oil. Removing and saving the liquid that comes off from cooking not only allows you to concentrate the mushroom's flavor, it provides you with the base of a good mushroom broth you can use to flavor stocks and sauces at a later point in time.

If all goes well, I will be finding a new batch next weekend and coming up with some kick ass recipes for y'all.

Portland City Club discusses the Portland Zoological Gardens in 1976

Today's trip  with Mr. Soden to the Oregon Zoo, formerly the Portland Zoological Gardens, spawned this interesting history dig of documents.

While funding the zoo has always been a dubious venture, I doubt that I have ever come across a document that ever questioned the validity of this institution quite as much as this sixteen pager. However, there is a certain wry comedy about their criticisms of this long-standing organization. However, whatever your opinion of The City Club of Portland may be, take the time to read some of these short excerpts (I shall save you from having to read the whole document), and consider how the zoo has changed over the years.













While the Oregon Zoo, as with many other institutions of its kind, have turned to conservation practices instead of pure entertainment, the idea of pony rides seems like it would have a hell of a lot of fun. And elephant rides? Dear lord, I would have loved to have had that opportunity. Alas, those days are long gone. I vaguely remember the interactive lighted panel/food game that was seemingly criticized and praised by this committee. Needless to say that this was gone by the mid-eighties.

My trip today brought back some nostalgic thoughts of the old zoo. Gone is the Tundra exhibit. No more lemming counts, musk ox, and pictures of ice age life. Also gone is the children's zoo where you could pet pygmy goats and see bunnies. And there aren't any tapirs. No damned tapirs. But the zoo is still wonderful. Even better, I must say. even at the cost of a tapir in a fence. This is what we call progress.

Fossil of Oregon...Not Fossil, Oregon

The process of fossilization is a time consuming task that takes millions of years to complete. The basic formula is thus, a carbon based life form dies in some type of muck, and instead of rotting away the more solid parts of the former living item are replaced by mineral deposits. 

In this case a tiny proto-Oregon died and was petrified into a rocky state. It rested undisturbed for millions and millions of years until pesky scientists found this odd fossil and thought, "Hey that looks like a very ancient version of the state of of Oregon..." And thus the scientists chipped this fossil out of rock and hung it up in a museum.

From what we can tell from this fossil of the early form of the state of Oregon, the borders were not well defined. And apparently there was a giant triangle that could we assume to be a primitive version of a mountain inside the this tiny fossil. Unlike dinosaurs and modern day reptiles, this fossil shows how Oregons actually evolved to be much larger than their prehistoric ancestors.

The Oregon Caves...a Glorious Hole in the Ground

As the legend goes, a man chasing a bear in Southern Oregon first found the Oregon Caves. The hunter, out with his dog on, trudging through woods about ten miles away from Williams, Oregon, watched as his dog chased a bear into a small opening into the side of a hill. He followed in after some time lighting matches along the way until all his matches were gone.  Well, eventually he was stuck in complete darkness, with a bear in a cave, and well...This is what he would have seen if he had electric lights.

Oregon has its share of natural wonders; Multnomah Falls, Crater Lake, Gresham, all rank as places of unique beauty. But I think the Oregon Caves must be the most spectacular site of them all. Stalagmites and stalactites still hang in their frosty, drippy, alien-like form as they have for centuries. 

Of course man has made his mark on this geological formation. The odd scribbles here are the names of students and of a geology professor who visited the cave in the 1930s. Mineral deposits have coated the names over the past decades leaving a preserving glaze over this mark. 

As for the hunter, he managed to find a shaft of light that eventually led to his escape from the three miles or so of passages in the cave. There he also found his dog waiting for him. Given that there were two ways out that the hunter knew of, he decided to set up camp and wait for the bear which eventually came out of the cave and was shot.

So the moral of the story...If you follow a bear into a cave bring a riffle. That and the Oregon Caves are worth visiting.

Things Found in Forests

While I would have liked to have spent a fair amount of time in the woods of the Illinois Valley foraging for various edibles, I didn't have the opportunity for a few reasons. First being how remarkably dry the area was at this time which tends to make conditions difficult for mushroom growth.

The other reason why I didn't spend a great deal of time in the woods was harvest season. This particular region of Southern Oregon has been known for years as being a pot growers haven. And while mushroom picking might not be prime, weed harvesting is very productive.  The changing social dynamics and the economics of drug culture have pushed growing ventures to much more challenging feats of chemistry. The meth culture of this region has waxed and waned in recent years in the majority of the state, but here you can see the impacts of this nasty drug very clear.

Sooo....because I am not too fond of being shot by drug dealers in the wilderness, I decided I would not wander through the woods looking for things for dinner. However, at the rare instances I did have a chance to look at the fungi growth, I took these pictures.

No idea what this is...it just looks cool.

Pretty certain, the picture above is of a mastutake. However, given I don't know this species with absolute certainty, I left it in the woods.

This one is a lobster mushroom. Basically a fungal parasite on a russula mushroom. Pretty easy to identify, but I am not a fan. I left this one behind.

And finally, these are Angel Wings, if I have my identification correct. These are closely related to the oyster mushrooms you can find commercially.  The pickings of these were way too sparse to make a meal so I left these behind as well.

I did find one single chanterelle. Kind of sad, but still kind of rewarding. And I didn't get shot.

Meat Eating Plants!

Image via Wikipedia

Remember those horror movies where meat-eating plants come from outer space and devour men whole? Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors insatiable desire for blood? The Triffids strangling blinded humans and they sucked the life out of them? Well, they are real and they are in Oregon...sort of...kind of...well, not really. 

Well, let me explain...

Southern Oregon contains many unique forms of rare and valuable flora special to the Northwest. No, not the wacky grass that they like to grow in Cave Junction and Takilma but, unique species of pitcher plants indigenous to this region of the Oregon Coast Range, but a unique plant known as Darlingtonia californica, aka, the California pitcher plant...or by the even more metal name Cobra Lily.

Near Florence, on the Oregon Coast, a fairly large peat bog supports the unique conditions that host this plant. However just outside of Cave Junction you can find a few isolated patches of this plant. 

The plants' hooded funnel shape forms a trap that catches insects. With the insects trapped, enzymes secreted by the plant digest the captured insects allowing the plant to absorb much need nutrients absent from the bogs in which they grow. While the trapping mechanism varies between difference carnivorous plants, the same biological principals apply, when nutrients are absent from the soil, obtain them from other sources.

These pictures are of the bog of pitcher plants. The whole area in which they grow is probably about the size of a baseball diamond of sloggy earth. 

While considerably less glamorous than the sundew or the venus-fly trap, it is still a unique plant. A quick aside on the venus fly trap, if you hadn't put two and two together, the name of this plant is quite misogynistic in nature, as the "Venus" refers to the vulvar nature of the trapping mechanism. The Darlingtonia is still fondly appreciated by those in Oregon. It's a strange plant...what else is there to say?

Close to Nature

This picture was taken over twenty years ago by my folks while we were on vacation at Wallowa Lake in the northeastern corner of Oregon. It was my first experience up close to wildlife. The deer were extremely brave and extremely friendly and would approach with little hesitation. I would feed pieces of bread to them and was able to pet them as if they were tamed animals.

I recall my mother not being too fond of me doing this, but also finding it quite amusing that the deer, which were normally quite timid would approach without caution. Maybe this was typical;  maybe it just wasn't hunting season and they were hoisting a big deer middle finger to any would-be hunters in the area. Never the less, from the porch of the cabin, I kept feeding them. Even in the grassy field nearby, I would venture out and they would meet me. Maybe it was just my size and that I had food to offer.

It is assumed that Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease or CJD (pronounced /ˈkrɔɪtsfɛlt ˈjɑːkoʊb/), may be carried by many of the species of deer in North America. In common parlance, CJD is known as "Mad Cow Disease." This condition of the brain progresses over many years, decades really, and so if I begin to ramble irrationally. I could possibly blame my exposure to this experience. Or maybe to the decades of eating beef. Who knows.

But I have to say, feeding deer by hand in the wild is pretty damned cool.

Four Uknowns...

As autumn comes around, some of my favorite wild mushrooms start popping up from the loam in the forest. This time of year yields wildly coveted chanterelles of many different varieties, matsutakes, lobster mushrooms, gemmed puffballs, and the start of truffles.

My first trek out this season didn't yeild much for edibles that I could readily identify. The gemmed puffballs were probably the most easily to spot. They are edible, but from every text and reference that I have come across, the taste is bland and unspectacular. I did find a large patch of lobster mushrooms. Unfortunately, I didn't take pictures of this patch.

I have yet to prepare lobster mushrooms I have found. I think my hesitance comes from the idea that the "mushroom" is actually a fungus parasitic fungus that grows on top of other species of mushrooms. While I am mostly able to identify the rusullas that are the common host to the parasite fungus, I am never certain if the orange musky weirdness have claimed something more ominous (as if some orange parasitic fungus that encrusts a living organism isn't ominous enough).

These other pictures of various mushrooms and fungi are of things I think are kind of neat even though I know nothing about them...

Mislabeling...

Ah, the Horseshoe Crab, occasionally known as the "king crab." Kind of a funny looking animal. Some say it is a living fossil. But the writers of this wildlife kingdom profile have decided that calling it an" underwater casserole" would be much more fitting.

When I think of casseroles, I don't think of things with lots of legs. And I also don't think of it being underwater. I like to think of french friend onions. Or sometimes I like to think of funerals. Little known fact, casseroles are the traditional food of the funerals. If someone dies; you bring them a casserole. Think about it, but don't think too hard--you might think of a regrettable experience about a dear lost aunt.

Apparently, you can cook a horseshoe crab. But I don't think you can make a casserole out of it. And I don't think you should take a horseshoe crab casserole to a funeral even though casseroles are the traditional foods of funerals. Once again it it the too many leg thing.

Alas we are left with a living fossil. In the age of dinosaurs, there were no casserole and there were no horseshoes. In fact this nameless crab went around experiencing a kind of existential crisis that only post-modernist theorist and 8-track aficionados experience these days as they tried to cling to some sense of identity in their era. It was only until the invention of horse that this crab had some sense of purpose.

Narwhal, nuff said...

Today on NPR there was a feature on the elusive narwhal. And while I would love to think of this animal as a taxidermy creation, it simply isn't. In my mind, the narwhal is an animal similar to the platypus, something so strange that it couldn't be real. But, alas, it is.

One things that is great about the description on the back of these cards is that they are dated. I doubt there are a number of "Eskimos" out there these days making narwhal harpoons. In fact, I doubt many use harpoons for hunting.

But you know what would be cool is a narwhal combined with a platypus. That would be the most awesome animal ever. Does anyone know a damned good taxidermist who has a a whale, lots of feather, and one effin' huge duck bill?